How do I know if I'm experiencing trauma?

By Dr Rachel Lee, Consultant Clinical Psychologist & Trauma Specialist · Last updated 13 June 2026

What is trauma?

Most people think that trauma is defined by the event that someone experiences and assume that the event has to be something "big" or life threatening, something like a serious car accident, or an assault. But whilst these events can cause trauma, trauma is not limited to these types of events and also not everyone who experiences these distressing events will experience trauma or post-traumatic stress. So what is trauma? I see trauma as referring to the impact of an experience on someone's sense of self, perception of the world, thoughts, emotions, behaviours and nervous system. You can't determine whether someone has trauma by looking at the event itself. If you had a distressing experience that overwhelmed your ability to cope, that has left you feeling unsafe or alone, that you re-experience in flashbacks or disturbing dreams and that affects how you feel, think, act, sleep, or relate to others, you might be experiencing trauma, (even if you think that the experience you had "wasn't that bad" compared with what other people have been through). You don't have to have survived something life threatening to have trauma. I've helped people who have develop trauma from workplace bullying, from witnessing an accident, from a distressing birth, from a relationship betrayal and more.

What causes trauma or post-traumatic stress disoder (PTSD)?

Trauma happens when we experience an event that is highly distressing. Often these events meant that we felt powerless or helpless. Many clients tell me that they felt alone. Sometimes the event might involve humiliation or high levels of shame. Events like these can overwhelm our ability to cope and leave us with a range of emotional, psychological, or physical effects that can last for years. Trauma isn't just about what happened to us, it's about the impact it has on our lives.

Here are some examples of events that can cause trauma:

• Serious accidents or injuries

• Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse

• Natural disasters like floods or earthquakes

• Sudden loss of a loved one

• Medical procedures and experiences in intensive care

• Complex pregnancies and births

• Witnessing someone else being hurt or harmed

• Bullying

• Relationship betrayal, like discovering your partner is having an affair

  
  

Trauma can be a single event or it can involve a collection of (sometimes smaller) repeated experiences. We know from research that trauma changes how the brain and body respond to stress, our nervous system becomes much more sensitive to potential threats and this can leave us feeling on edge, finding situations more scary that we used to, finding it harder to trust other people and/or being easily startled.

Why do some people develop post-traumatic stress or PTSD?

It's possible to experience highly distressing events and not develop lasting trauma symptoms. Many people make a natural recovery over time. Trauma seems to develop when an experience overwhelms our capacity to cope, when we feel frightened, powerless or alone, when aspects of the experience mean that all our focus goes into surviving, or getting through, the experience, because this means that we are not able to fully process what is happening to us. Research has shown that dissociation at the time of the event can predict post-traumatic stress. In my clinical practice, I've noticed that if the experience has complications (e.g. if we need an urgent operation after a car accident) or creates changes to our lives or functioning (such as ongoing injuries or persistent pain) this can then make it harder to recover psychologically.

A meta analysis by Chris Brewin and colleagues in 2000 concluded that "factors operating during or after the trauma, such as trauma severity, lack of social support, and additional life stress, had somewhat stronger effects than pre-trauma factors". Sometimes people feel like there is something wrong with them because they haven't been able to recover from trauma, but this quote highlights that the experiences at the time and afterwards are stronger predictors of trauma, compared to the characteristics of the individual. This is further highlighted in a meta analysis by Ozer et al in 2003 , where the authors noted "The results suggest that peritraumatic psychological processes, not prior characteristics, are the strongest predictors of PTSD."

Overall, whether we develop trauma from a distressing experience seems to be influenced by how we made sense of it at the time, how we process it afterwards and the level of social support we receive, not just the severity of the experience.

What are common trauma symptoms?

Trauma can affect people in different ways, for example some people might feel numb or disconnected, while others might experience high levels of anxiety and anger. Here are some common symptoms:

• Re-experiencing symptoms: Flashbacks of the event (e.g. remembering it and feel like you are back there at the time, you might remember sounds, feelings, smells or images) and intrusive memories.

• Avoidance: Avoiding places, people, or activities that remind you of the trauma. Avoiding thinking about or talking about the event(s).

• Changes in mood: Feeling sad, hopeless, guilty or emotionally numb

• Changes in thinking: You might have thoughts like "I'm powerless", or "It's all my fault" or "I'm not good enough" or "I'm unsafe".

• Hyperarousal: Being easily startled, feeling tense, or having trouble sleeping

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

• Feeling detached from yourself or reality

• An altered sense of identity: You might feel like a different person or have a reduced sense of self because you are experiencing the world in a different way.

  
  

If these symptoms last more than a few weeks and interfere with your daily life, you may be experiencing trauma rather than stress or anxiety.

Why is knowing whether I am experiencing trauma important?

Knowing whether you are experiencing trauma or stress affects how you approach your recovery. Stress can often be managed with lifestyle changes like exercise, better sleep, or relaxation techniques. Trauma usually requires trauma-focused support, that is specific to trauma and includes coping strategies that work with your mind AND body and help you regulate your nervous system and improve your sense of safety. If you are having reexperiencing symptoms like flashbacks, you may benefit from a trauma-focused therapy like Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Therapy or EMDR.

I'm currently recording an online trauma recovery programme, The North Star Trauma Recovery Path, that will give you a deeper understanding of why you feel the way you do plus the most effective strategies that I use with my therapy clients. You can find out more about it here. It will be ready in July 2026.

Early recognition and the right support will help you recover more easily, so that you can start enjoying your life again.

How can I recover from trauma?

Trauma is treatable and changeable. I've helped people recover after experiencing trauma for decades. It is never too late to see help and support. Recovery generally involves three phases: first, helping the nervous system feel safer in the present (through grounding and nervous system regulation); then processing the memory itself, so that the brain can file it away as a past experience (this is how trauma-focused therapies such as EMDR and trauma-focused CBT work ); and finally, rebuilding your life and relationships. It's helpful to notice that recovery comes from working with the nervous system (i.e. mind and body), not from willpower or positive thinking alone. I've created a FREE Trauma Recovery Starter Kit to help with the first of these phases. It includes a guide that will help you make sense of your symptoms and discover three strategies to help you cope when you feel distressed. I've also included audio files of the strategies that you can download to your phone, a guide for loved ones and a coping care. You can find out more about it here.

Frequently asked questions

Can something be trauma if I can't remember it clearly? Yes. It is not unusual for people with trauma to have fragmented memories. The fact that your memory is incomplete might be due to the overwhelming aspects of your distressing experience(s). When we are overwhelmed we don't process experiences in the same way.

Can you fully recover from trauma? People recover from trauma every day. With the right support, flashbacks can reduce or stop, traumatic memories can lose their emotional charge, your nervous system can recalibrate and you can start to feel more like yourself again.

Can I work on trauma myself, or do I need therapy? =Understanding more about how trauma affects our brains and bodies, including nervous system dysregulatio, and why you are feeling the way to are can make a big difference. Learning a range of strategies that you can use to cope with triggers, flashbacks, anxiety, nightmares and avoidance can help you start doing more of the things you care about and, importantly, help you feel more in control of your emotional responses. This is why I've created the North Star Trauma Recovery Path, it's an online programme that you can work through at your own pace, straight away, that includes the information and strategies that I share with my trauma therapy clients. There are six video modules plus a range of audio files where I guide you through coping strategies in real time, you can download them to your phone so that they you can easily use them when you have a difficult moment. I've designed this path to give you the insights and tools to begin your recovery. It will be available in July 2026 and you can find out more and sign up to be notified when it's available here.

My FREE Trauma Recovery Starter Kit includes a guide that builds on some of the ideas in this post and also gives you three strategies that you can use to cope with common trauma symptoms, as well as an audio file that guides you through one of them in real time. Find out more here.

Dr Rachel Lee is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Accredited EMDR Consultant and trauma specialist with over twenty years' experience. She has a private practice in Mirfield, West Yorkshire, is HCPC-registered and offers therapy to adults recovering from trauma and anxiety.